So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
