Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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