Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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