I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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