it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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