Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
