Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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