Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
