the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
