So drunk its hurt
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
