Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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