I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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