lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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