I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
