kristin has been a bad kristin
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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