honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
