It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
