Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
