omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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