I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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