I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
