4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
