He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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