she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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