I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
