were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
