just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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