4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
