are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
