I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
