I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
