Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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