thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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