I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
