omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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