it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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