i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
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