So drunk its hurt
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
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