ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
