Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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