I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
