Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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