I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
