haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
