do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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