So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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