Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We had sex on a dog bed..
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
