3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
