From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
vagina is talking i cant
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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