i permit you to call me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
