Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wanna passion pit in your ass
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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