even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
