He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
