is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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